Ceritanya lagi curhat

Ya I know I got back with my ex, but he left me again. I feel so stupid because I feel....I should have given him another chance. But at the end he doesn't deserve it. But a hurts me the most is, how cruel he really is. I am so in love with him that there isn't anything else.. but then now I feel like i'm constantly looking for something to grab on to so I don't lose myself. He came back all of a sudden, I moved on already and he ruined that for me. It took me a months for move on, I finally moved.... and he came back. I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the future at all. I can't reach out to anymore because I still look for him in everyone, I fucking love him and I hate how I feel everything so deeply. I love the fact that he makes me happy but it's hurts. I don't think it's love when it hurts. I miss him.....so much:( I love how when we're together, text a message at the night or morning, his smile to me like i'm the only one girl in the world, you make me feel like princess in a wonderful place. I'm never able to move on like this, you know? people just have an affair. They move on like they would have changed brand on the cereals. I was never able to forget anyone i've been with. Because he had his own spesific qualities. And it really damages me. I never fully recover, though I moved on. It hurts too much. I miss him, like I remember his brown eyes, and and how I was so excited to go to school. I remember that I missed it. I didn't know words could be so heavy, but i'm so in love and the fact that he doesn't love me back that hurts me. So, ya the truth is i feel empty. I fucking miss everything, I miss knowing he was around, because it helped me to know that he was around, someone like him existed, I guess most of all. It's getting bad, you weren't there again. Miss knowing I would see you again. I always thought I'd see you again. Okay, I'm done. Thank you bye HAHA